Death. Mors ultima ratio. Death is the final accounting.

It’s October. The all things dark & dismal month. And what more dark and dismal of a subject than death. Love it – hate it – fear it – welcome it. We end up facing the inevitable. The cyberworld can be a very dark and dismal place indeed. From that blue-screen-of-death which we all dread to dead-end 404 File Not Found Error we stare at in utter disbelief. Death indeed comes in many forms on the 'net. This month's tour of the web highlights some the best dead-things the 'net has to offer.

When – Death…Your Own.

Now there is as subject I would like to avoid for as long as possible. But being the curious and morose type I have to ponder "how long do I really have left"? Well the virtual realm holds a bevy of answers to one of mankind’s oldest questions. We start our little tour of the death web with the ticking of the clock – the Death Clock that is.

The Death Clock

http://www.deathclock.com

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Yup that is it. That is my tag date. As of this writing I was informed that had 227,332,921 Seconds "left to live" and am I feel them slipping away fast. I entered some basic, none too personal information about myself and was instructed to select my mood. I chose the Goth-popular "pessimistic" view of course. I was quickly informed that the date of my ultimate demise would be just days before my 55th birthday. Yea, tell me something I don’t already know.

Actually there is a lot of good info here if you go poking around this site a bit.. It is an interesting place to stop and linger. You will find a links to a ton of virtual information on Causes of Death, Postponing Your Own Death, Health Concerns and much more. Who says death can’t at least be informative.

The Spark – Death Test

http://www.thespark.com/deathtest

The 'net also offers a number of "death tests" all designed to foretell the day of your ultimate demise, providing of course you are willing to answer a number of questions. This is one of the more entertaining versions of a death test out there. After clicking my way through couple of pages of questions I only faired slightly better for the date of my big checkout. This test calculated my expiration date as April 7, 2014, at the age of 57 years old. Still a couple of years is a couple of years; I’ll take what I can get.

This is a rather commercial / entertainment site so if you go mousing around you will not find the much here that could be deemed informational. What you will find is lots more “tests”. But if entertainment is what you seek – go for it. You can test everything from your prehension towards laziness to your lack of purity. Be warned, while these” tests” maybe remotely entertaining they can be a big sinkhole for time. Most take upwards of 10-15 of involvement just for the “reward” of a small short answer. Hey gotta remember those precious seconds are ticking away – careful how you spend them.

Who – Also dead.

Well now that I have determined my checkout date I at least want to know that I will be in good company and of course the 'net has a variety of sites gives you a play by play of all the latest greatest.

www.dpsinfo.com/dps/index.html

The Dead People Server

The Dead People Server is the granddaddy of the ma/pa dead celebrities websites. From their info page you can surf the dead files alphabetically or by year for as far back as 1984. Hey while that isn't rocket science that is damn impressive on the net. That is 20 years of dead files. The A-Z is even more impressive. The celebrity list is fairly deep and includes those Hollywood types who’s careers have died off long before their corporeal form. While light on the details of both the life & death of the celebrities the photo gallery is fairly entraining. All in all this site is more than worth a few seconds of your precious ticking time.

www.Findadeath.com

Find A Death

Man, I gotta love Find A Death. Their irreverent style and attention to detail is what makes them not just another dead celebrity site. Each entry off their A-Z index is jam packed with enough info that even the National Enquirer would be hard put to match. The commentary with each entry packs a no-holds-barred attitude right from the start, You will find no fluffy niceties here. The photos files are not just the standard celerity head shots either. You get to snapshot photos of everything from the family dog to the actual death certificate. Cool. There is much here to explore – have fun.

Rides & Labels

Now that you know when you are going and how you will be entertained – you might as well get there in style.

http://members.aol.com/hearseq/grimrides.htm

Grim Rides.

Quite simply, these are the hottest hearses on the planet. The members of this San Francisco area funnel car club make getting to your final destination a work of automotive art. From the classic 1956 Chevy thru to more modern rides the guys & gals here defiantly know getting there is half the fun. From the opening page you see a list of rides & their owners. Clicking on anyone one of them takes you to the mini private world of hearse & owner. You may see a classic, a step by step restoration saving one of these beauties from the grave, the finished product of such love & devotion or more. Each vehicle listed has a bio and photos to go with. Hey if you have to go, get there in classic style.

http://www.tombstonetravel.com/symbol.html

Tombstone Travel

What does it all mean? Well the folks at Tombstone Travel help you unravel the mysteries of the graveyard. They contend that cemeteries are out door art galleries and I have to agree. This site gives you all you need. From Tombstone Etiquette (a bit more than just knowing that the dead guy doesn't need to know which is the salad fork) to Tombstone Mysteries. Print their handy guide to Tombstone Symbolism and take in for your next graveyard hike. That way you will be able to unravel the mysteries of traditional symbolism is that is often included as part a grave marker. Have fun with this site there is a lot of information here that is excellent as well as photos of many classic graveyards and markers.

http://www/gravestoneartwear.com/catalog.html

Gravestone Artwear

So now that you know what you want on your tombstone are you just going to let it look like all the others out there? I think not. The folks at Gravestone Artwear take things one step further. You can wear a gravestone now. In classic symbolism taken form a variety New England gravestones they produce a variety of products from t-shirts to accessories you too can be among those sporting a marker.

Fun with Death

Nothing like a little entertainment to liven up your otherwise dead day. Here are a few of my favorites.

http://asylumeclectica.com/morbid/

Morbid Fact of the Day.

A nothing like a good gross creepy story to get the blood flowing. The ones here are not Hollywood fabrications. These are the real deal. Peruse their archives (back to 1996) for oodles of deadly morbid facts there is enough here to keep you entertained for days. Or hey, join the mailing list and let them deliver morbid facts to your in-box daily. Why where else could you learn such facts as many hypothermic victims died each year in the process of being rescued – it’s the warm-up that actually kills them.

http://www.sfdt.com/

Stick Figure of Death Theater

Ah ya have to go with a modem cult classic here. This is audience participation at its finest. Be warned the pop-ups here are aggressive. The name for this site says it all. The members here submit mini-movies in which a stick figure man is the primary character. He of course dies. Primary, basic and damn fun & entertaining. I love it. The mini movies can be anything from very basic to very involved. Most all of them include a sound track. Some are set to classic music, others just mumble their way thru their own dismemberment. Death here comes in every imaginable method. These mini movies are damn addictive too. The only danger here is dying from too much happiness.

Until the next time

LA. / nodecaf

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